Something Inconspicuous

 Welcome to my 2024 Spotify Wrapped! Obviously, I'm not gonna be able to explain it all as thoroughly as I would like, but I'll do my best. A lot of these songs and artists require explanations, some I will give and some I will not (I have my reasons). So without further a do let's get started. Let's start with ripping the bandage off and addressing my number 1 song. Drumroll please... Defying Gravity (the original Broadway cast recording obviously). According to Spotify I streamed this song a total of 143 times, thus making me part of the top 0.001% of listeners worldwide. This may or may not mean that I am the number one listener of this song on Spotify but I'll try not to think about that too much. I could write an 1000 word essay about what this song means to me and why I love it so much but I'll spare you the details and move on to my top 2-5 songs this year.  Coming in at number 2 is Inolvidable by Ovy on the Drums. My favorite part of this song is actuall...

I'm backkkkk. Now feeling much happier and lighter since I wrapped up my third semester of college two days ago. Everything went well in my final week but chaos reigned the week before. To start things off on week 13, my computer broke down. And I mean COMPLETELY broke down. To the point that it is still at the computer repair shop more than a week later. This is especially frustrating because it literally just turned a year old so how is it possible that it has busted to this extent. Then, two days after my computer broke I got my schedule for my final semester of college and it is AWFUL. I now have to go to school every day and have some ridiculous class times like 6-9 pm on Mondays and 2-6 on Fridays (yes again!). This is despite the fact that I spend three hours waiting in line at my college to talk to someone to change just ONE of my classes to make it more manageable. However, I have now come to terms with this series of unfortunate events and am now determined to make the mo...

 I actually have so much I wanna talk about in this entry, hence why you dear reader only had to wait 10 days until my next post. First thing's first, Shawn Mendes released his new album yesterday and I have just finished listening to it in it's entirety. It was alright. I don't doubt that it was very important and special for him especially considering he's been MIA for so long, but it's not exactly my cup of tea. However, I loved the first song in his album "Who I Am", literally had me pacing in my room and sobbing. "I feel pressure from the people that I love and it hurts, but I know I gotta do it I gotta put me first, losing myself tryna make you proud, sorry gotta do it gotta let you down." Literally spoke to my soul, and what makes it even better is that those lyrics belong to verse 2 of the song. If you've read entry no.36  you should KNOW how much I love the second verse of a song.  Anyways, the lyrics in this song got me thinking abo...

 This is giving me flashbacks from a year ago when I would write entries during class. That is what I am currently doing cuz I am restless and bored. I really don't feel much of a desire to write an entry but my ADHD tendencies won't let me just sit and listen to the teacher. Especially when he promised to end class an hour early and now he just keeps rambling about things that have nothing to do with the lecture. It's a Linux class btw (I know nobody asked but I digress). After this lecture I will officially be done week 9 of my third semester, God willing, I'll finish my program at the end of April. April, it seems so far yet so close, time stands still and moves at the speed of light all at the same time. I don't even know what this entry should be about. I can't really talk about soccer right now cuz I honestly haven't had time to sit down and watch a game. Also the class I am currently in falls on Wednesdays from 2-5 pm, smack in the middle of when Arse...

 Time is a funny concept. Especially when we associate it with people. Does time actually heal? Is forgetting healing? Or is it one of those kinda things where what you don't know can't hurt you. Shouldn't healing be accepting and moving forward rather than forgetting? Forgetting feels like a cop-out. It takes a much stronger person to hold memories and walk away than to forget the memories all together. I'm ok by the way, the only reason I bring this up is because I was browsing through the internet and found a video of Adele singing "Someone like you" while crying during a concert. She wrote that song years ago but it's so clear that she still remembers everything. You can see a thousand moments flashing through her eyes in a matter of seconds. Hence why I ask, is it possible to feel healed when you don't forget? What's the difference between healing and moving on? In an attempt to answer that question, I would say that healing is moving on but m...

 Hello! Wow it's been a minute... I don't know why but I feel a little shy right now, I guess it's cuz I'm out of practice when it comes to writing these entries. I just finished reading my previous entry which was a month ago but it somehow feels like a lifetime. I am now one month into college and I am not going to lie it has been extremely difficult for me to get back into that routine. It has especially been difficult for me to actually do my homework when I say I'm going to do it. Most of the time I just end up sitting in front of the TV watching "Friends". I then proceed to lament over how stressed and overwhelmed I am while doing nothing to ameliorate the situation. Today was actually a good day for me though, I was quite productive. So much so that I actually don't have to do any homework tomorrow morning so I can get up at 6:45 rather then 5:30. On school days I leave the house at 7:20 for my 8:00 AM classes. It's crazy to think that I am ...

 My European adventure came to a close a few days ago. I got home Sunday afternoon knowing that I had to get up bright and early for work the next day. Despite the jetlag my shift wasn't bad, 7:45 to 2:00, plus I was at self-checkout so it really wasn't a difficult day. But one thing I should mention about self-checkout is the fact that it is freezing cold by those machines. So cold that I now have a bit of a sore-throat to top off my jet lag. I feel like I came back from vacation and hit the ground running, but I guess that's life for you. There are no grace periods between vacation and normalcy. When I ended that shift on Monday I proceeded to take a 4 hour nap and somehow I woke up even more exhausted! However, thanks to the jet lag it has been easier to get up early. Portugal is 6 hours ahead while Spain is 7 so you can imagine how disorienting that is at first. I can't believe summer is over! In a little less than 3 weeks I am going to have my last first day of sch...

 It’s been a while since I last made a deep and philosophical entry so please entertain me for a few minutes. I can’t really explain how my brain works, it’s kinda like a fun house mirror maze. There’s a lot going on and if it’s your first time in there it seems very confusing and chaotic. However, I know this fun house well. I know the dead ends and shortcuts but sometimes I purposely use these loopholes and secrets to my advantage. I use them to avoid thinking about certain things or to see things that aren’t really there.  Ok that sounds a little creepy. But essentially what I’m trying to say is that I like to play tricks with my own mind. For example, I’ll excuse bad behaviour or let people treat me badly because I believe they are misunderstood. That they actually had good intentions or valid reasons when I know deep down that isn’t always the case. But then again, don’t we all do that? Tell each other happy stories and imagine things differently in an attempt to shield o...

 The European adventure continues. Let me catch you up to speed, it is boiling hot and there is not a cloud in the sky. I don’t mind the heat in this part of Europe because there is no humidity and believe me it makes a BIG difference. The food has been great, regardless of whether or not it is traditional. For example, we went to Spain a few days ago and had Lebanese food. It was probably the most delicious lamb I have ever had. Then there was another day when we ate Argentinian food and once again it was absolutely delicious. Currently we are staying in a beach town in Portugal, the house we rented is literally right in front of the ocean.  Yesterday we went swimming and spent the whole day by the beach. I forgot how much I missed the ocean, the salty water and soft sand, it’s something you can’t compare. This morning we took it easy since I needed to be at the house and have access to a computer around noon because that’s when my college schedule came out. I had to access i...

I’m just gonna start writing this entry now cuz goodness knows when I’ll have time to sit down and write again. It takes me 30 minutes to an hour to write an entry and as you already know if you’ve read one of my past entries, I like to write in one sitting. Currently, I am in Portugal! We arrived yesterday morning and I honestly still can believe I’m here. The plane ride was 8 hours and I tried to sleep through most of it but it was no use.  I got maybe an hour at most but it’s so incredibly difficult to get comfortable on a plane. Also I had a middle seat so I had my dad to my right and a stranger to my left. Sitting next to strangers instantly makes me uneasy. I feel like they are going to judge me and my little habits and hobbies. While on the plane I played Plants vs. Zombies for the billionth time. It is one of the best free mobile games there is, if you disagree argue with the wall.  For the last two hours I also watched Star Wars Episode I. I’ve said this before but I’...

I'm watching the Olympics with my dad in the living room as I write this entry. We're currently watching a women's basketball game, it's Canada vs France and Canada is currently being obliterated. I've never really been into the Olympics but I'll watch a couple of the events here and there. Personally, I have always preferred the winter Olympics, specifically figure skating. I grew up watching Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir dominate in Ice Dancing from 2010 to 2018 at the Olympics. I'll never forget their beautiful dance to Stay by Rihanna, the chemistry between those two skaters is unmatched. I was so convinced that I was going to skate exactly like them when I was little. 10 year old Abby would be thoroughly disappointed in me if she found out that we grew up to become someone who can neither skate nor dance. It's funny when you think about it, I love music but I can't dance and I love the winter but can't play any of the sports associated with it...

 I have been up since 6:30, I am running on a solid 5 hours of sleep and it is currently a quarter to midnight. I most definitely should be sleeping but what can ya do when you love to write as much as I do. The last few posts have very much centered around soccer, specifically England's journey throughout the Euro's. However, now that they are over I find myself preparing for the Primer League season to start up again. Arsenal recently released their new away kit for the season, they are black, red, and green. I definitely like them better than last year's away kit but it's honestly nothing to gush over. However, do you know what is worth gushing over? "POR QUE SERA" by Grupo Frontera and Maluma. Oh. My. Goodness. It is such a good song, perfect summer heartbreak vibes and instantly iconic.  Speaking of music, whoever was playing music over the speakers at work today was killing it. I swear I thought someone had taken my playlist or something. We went from ...

 Nearly two weeks later and I am back! I took an unintentional break from my entries simply because I wasn't really in the mood to write. For once I decided not to force myself into doing something I didn't want to do. That being said, I actually had to re-read the last entry I posted since I had no idea what I last wrote about. Now I remember talking about the England vs Switzerland game which at the time had not happen yet. I watched the first half with a friend of mine at a sports bar and it was pretty uneventful, it ended 0-0. Then it went 1-0 for Switzerland in the second half but my guy Bukayo didn't let things stay that way for too long. It was then 1-1 all the way until the end of extra time meaning that we were in for a penalty showdown. England is notorious for losing in shootouts so I was supppppeeeeerrr nervous. I was especially nervous for Bukayo given what happened to him in the last Euro's penalties. I recorded my reactions to each penalty for my sister a...

 Bruh, I thought it had been ages since I last wrote an entry but I now see that it's literally only been three days. That being said, because I thought I hadn't written an entry in a while, I was going to write one last night but I was way to tired to write more than a couple sentences. I ended up deleting that little entry because I refuse to write these in more than one sitting session. The Abby who wrote last night is different from the Abby today and has different things on her mind so the entry would be incohesive if it was written in two sessions. For example, today I am thinking about getting my hair trimmed in a month or so. I want it a little shorter with some layers. Maybe I'll get it done at the end of the month, what can I say I'm a sucker for short hair.  Today I had to walk to work, it takes me about 30 minutes and I genuinely don't mind the walk since I have my comfy Bluetooth headphones and awesome playlists to accompany me. However, it does leave m...

 It's almost 1 am, I don't feel like going to bed and to be honest I don't really feel like writing an entry but here I am anyways. I worked an 8 hour shift today, chilled for a little bit when I got home and then proceeded to pass out on the couch for nearly 3 hours. I was exhausted, I didn't sleep too well last night and got up early for work after an extremely busy weekend. Not the greatest combination but I digress. Anyways, since I don't really have anything I want to talk about in particular, I guess this will be another music entry. This one will be dedicated to Camila Cabello. I've been listening to her since her first album as a soloist. Needless to say I have seen her grow and change so much throughout the years. I know nobody asked, but I wanna talk about one of my favorite songs from her. My number 1 song will ALWAYS be "All These Years", it was literally love at first listen. Ever since I found it over 5 years ago it has always been one of...

 I’m away from home for the next few days and I didn’t feel like bringing my laptop to write an entry so I’m writing on my phone. That being said, please forgive me if this entry is a little too long or shorter than what I normally post. I’m not a big fan of typing using my phone, it feels far less personal than typing on a laptop for some reason. Anyways, last post I was talking about leaving the fate of my hair in the hands of the haircut gods. That being said, I am pleased to announce that I did indeed get a haircut two days ago. I ended up cutting it just above my shoulders and getting some side bangs. I showed up to work yesterday with my new look and all my co-workers were gassing me up so much I legit got shy. I don’t know what to do when someone complements or thanks me. I usually just laugh and hide my face.  The topic for today’s entry is a little strange but I guess all my topics are strange when you really think about it. Today I wanted to talk about a realization ...

This has probably been one of the longest and most eventful weeks of my life. I'm talking TV show season finale kinda crazy, like I swear someone must have written the script cuz it's just too much to be real. However, personal matters involving others do not belong on a public blog so I won't linger on the subject for too long. Just know that I have had so many longgggggg car talks while sipping on slushies and ice coffees. It's gotten to the point that I don't even feel like talking. That's right, me Abby the talker does not feel like talking. However, my ice coffee addiction remains strong. In fact I'm sipping one right now as I type.  Moving on to more important matters, I may or may not get a haircut this Tuesday. I haven't booked an appointment yet so I'm just gonna call the day of to see if there is a spot available. If there isn't then I guess it wasn't meant to be. I shall leave my fate in the hands of the haircut gods. If I do manag...

 Ayeooo, she's back only 4 days later, please hold your applause until the entry is finished. I'm currently a multi-tasking queen, typing away as I watch England vs Serbia, both team's first match in this year's Euro Cup. So far so good, we're winning one nothing and Southgate created a killer starting line-up not gonna lie. We got Kane, Foden, and Saka up front and Rice, Bellingham, and Trent in midfield... need I say more. Now that I'm writing, I realize that I haven't once mentioned what I thought about the team's new jerseys. I think they are cool, very classic looking but not as cool as the ones they wore during the 2022 World Cup. I loved both of those home and away kits. The bright red away colors and the white and bright blue home jerseys were perfection.  However, Germany's home and away kits this year were my absolute favorites. The white home jerseys with hints of red, yellow, and black look so beautiful, almost like the players are on fir...

 It's been a minute since my last post so let me catch you up to speed. I'm still holding strong to my no social media rule and I only miss it when I'm hanging out with friends and they are all browsing on Instagram. Other than that, I'm doing good. My sister let's me borrow her phone to check up on the England national football team every now and then. Don't judge me! Euro's are this Friday and the England team looks very different from the last Euro Cup. No Rashford, Maguire, or Henderson. To be honest, I don't think we really need them but I'm not a big fan of change so it's a little unsettling. I really should be going to bed instead of writing this entry. I'm on the first paragraph but I've literally yawned at least four times already. I stayed up late last night watching anime and playing Stardew Valley, one of the best RPG's known to man. Essentially it's a farming game, you inherit your grandfather's run down farm and ...

I literally just finished watching "The Emperor's New Groove" and it got me thinking about things I was saying in my previous entries about not giving up on others and recognizing that there is more happiness in giving than in receiving. It sounds stupid but this movie actually highlights both those points perfectly. Pacha refuses to give up on Kuzco even though he is so incredibly conceded and selfish. He rescues Kuzco from the jungle knowing that Kuzco has the intent of stealing his home so he can build himself a pool. Pacha even fights Yzma so Kuzco can change back into a human even though it's ultimately none of his business. This leads Kuzco to have a change of heart, highlighting this concept that there is good inside of everybody. So many people would've given up on Kuzco after what he put Pacha through but Pacha sticks it out til the very end and as a result, Kuzco changes for the good. So how can we justify giving up on people if there is always a chance ...

 I wanted to write an entry this morning but instead I drove to Walmart to pick up a few things before a family road trip. I also bought myself a one dollar ice coffee from McDonald's on the way home cuz I have no shame. I intend to milk summer drink days for as long as I can even if it's a complete rip off nowadays. Since I was driving by myself, I got to play my music which is very eclectic. I could play the same two songs over and over again and never get bored but those two songs could be completely different and I'll switch without skipping a beat. Currently I've been obsessed with "Defying Gravity" from the Broadway Musical "Wicked", it's such a powerful and heartfelt song. I love to belt it out at the top of my lungs but I can never do it justice, no one sings it like Indina Menzel. So there I was, driving to Walmart at a red light with two young girls in a Range Rover beside me who were definitely judging me as I screamed "But nobody...

 Today's a good day for me, I'm glad cuz I definitely needed one. I've been feeling a bit gloomy these last couple of days if you couldn't tell from my latest entries. Hope it didn't rub off and bring other people's mood down. Emotions are contagious and I don't want someone else to feel sad simply because I do, I don't think it's fair. It's funny how we as humans are so often like that, we'll let you cry on our shoulder no problem but are so hesitant to cry on someone else's.  I have good friends with strong sets of shoulders. They'll listen to me rant about the same problem over and over. I don't think we are truly friends unless you've seen me cry at least once. But enough about crying, the sun is shinning and summer drink days are back at McDonald's. Since my parents do all the grocery shopping for our house, I honesty didn't realize how bad inflation has gotten until I saw the prices for summer drinks at McDonald...

 Here I am, once again writing past midnight cuz I didn't fully learn my lesson in entry 18. I don't even know what I want to write about right now, I just know that I want to write. This post is gonna be a little deeper and gloomier than my usual stuff but please bear with me. I'm a very emotional person, I'm constantly on the verge of tears for no real reason. But despite this, I don't believe in wasted tears. Tears should always mean something, whether you are mourning something or someone you have lost, crying of laughter and gratefulness, or disliking yourself a little more than you usually do, tears mean something.  Tears help us move on to the next step by allowing us to process our emotions. To me wiping away your tears is like picking yourself up off the floor and saying "We go again". But some people get stuck on the floor, too afraid that they'll fall again or that they are unworthy of a second chance. The hardest prison to bust out of is th...

 I don't know why but I've been scared of my computer for the past two days. It goes like this; I want to write an entry, I pick up my computer, turn it on and then quickly turn it off and put it back on my desk, I then put my headphones on, blast music, and walk away. But this to be or not to be dance is killing me and Hamlet is a prime example of the consequences of inaction. Therefore I have valiantly picked up my laptop and have let the thoughts loose as my hands run along the keyboard and try to keep up. I think that's why I've been avoiding my computer, I'm scared of thinking, scared of feeling too much cuz I always do.  I'm also scared of being a little too deep and honest, especially after last post. I don't think I overshared but I definitely came closer than I normally do. These entries aren't some secret diary that only I have access to. They are also not meant to be a place for me to rant about my problems or cry and complain. The vibes are ...

 It's almost 2 am, a psychologically sound person would probably be sleeping by now. I on the other hand have spend the past two hours on an ambitious art endeavor. A lot of people I know and love are going through a hard time right now. Also, a lot of people that I know and love have helped me when I've gone through a hard time without even realizing it. As a result my heart feels obligated to give them a little piece of me through my words and art. I'll talk a little more about this project of mine in the future when I reflect on it's completion. But for now, all you need to know is that this isn't the first time I've made cards for certain people in my life.  It's something I picked up during the pandemic when we were all cooped up in our homes and people starting writing cards and letters again. I've always enjoyed drawing, painting, and other similar crafts. One day I combined this hobby with my love of writing and throughout the years I've made...

May is my favorite month of the year and in a blink of the eye almost half of it is over. I can't believe it will be June in 3 weeks, summer is literally just around the corner. There something special about summer, like the whole world comes alive in the sunshine. Personally, winter is my favorite season but despite that I fully understand the hype that revolves around summer. People think I'm crazy when I say that winter is my favorite, especially when I don't participate in most winter activities like skating or snowboarding. Instead I like to put on my snow pants and sit outside and read. Me and my sister also try to make a snowman every year. Last year two of our friends joined in on our tradition and we went out for warm bowls of soup afterwards.  I love the peacefulness and quiet of the winter, especially those mornings when you wake up and the snow is falling slowly to the ground in big fluffy chunks. I also really like the rain, especially in the summer. Hanging ou...

 Forgive me if this post is a little longer or shorter than usual, I can’t really see how much I’ve written. That’s because I’m writing this entry on my phone instead of my computer since I’m not home at the moment. Currently I am in Quebec City, an 8 hour drive from my home. I’ve never driven this far but it was a relatively easy drive. It was a straight road with trees lining both sides of the highway. I’ve been to Quebec a couple of times and every time I go I fall in love with the French Language. I was in French Immersion for 8 years so I know more French than your average Canadian. That being said I understand it more than I speak or write it. It’s such a pretty language and I enjoy practicing what I’m going to say when ordering or asking for directions. So far I’d like to say I’ve been doing considerably well even though I haven’t spoken French in what feels like centuries. Everyone I’ve spoken to is really nice and I can tell they appreciate the effort. My only complaint is...

I wanted to write another entry sooner but in typical Abby fashion I was too busy. I've been working longer shifts at work since I'm done school for the next four months and I have a bunch of other weekly commitments that put this blog on the back burner. I got up at 5:30 am today and have been on the go until 11:00 pm. Now at 12:30 am I finally have time to write and organize my thoughts. That being said, I don't know if writing late at night is a good idea but oh well we'll give it a shot. When I got home tonight around 11:00 pm, I started to clean my room while listening to music. I don't know why but I find it difficult to sleep in an outrageously messy room. For the most part, I keep my room pretty clean. But because I have a lot of hobbies it gets pretty crowded pretty quickly. My room is never crispy clean but I know where everything is and I could invite someone over and show them my room without being embarrassed by it's current state. Right now there i...

 It's funny how my need to write comes in waves. On Friday I was dying to write another entry but then Friday came and went and I started to feel a little sad. I don't like to write when I'm sad, it turns me into a bitter person and brings a lot of things to the surface all at once. School's out, the weather was good, I had fun with friends who love me and that's just the tip of the iceberg of the good things I got going on so there is really no excuse. I understand that it's important to feel sad sometimes to process your emotions but I really think I'm just overthinking and being dramatic. Give me an ice coffee and some good music and all is right with the world again.  I just got off of work and currently have one in hand. My dad bought it for me, he came to pick me up like he normally does. Not to brag but I have amazing parents. I'm surprised I haven't written about them earlier because they truly are spectacular. They are so giving and caring i...

 I have a confession. I did not go for a run on Monday morning. I don't know what psycho came up with that plan because that is absolute insanity. However, I did go on a run today in the afternoon. The weather was perfect for it but I must admit that I am embarrassingly out of shape. I had to take walking breaks which was truly a humbling experience for me. I remember back when I was in middle school I would try out for the cross country team in September after spending months rotting away in front of the TV in my pjs during the summer. I thought this run would produce similar results but obviously I could not be more wrong.  It was fun though. I'm gonna try to do it again this Friday, I also did a half hour ab workout after I finished my run cuz why not. I am definitely going to be in pain tomorrow but I know that I am also going to sleep well tonight. I've never had problems sleeping and for that I will always be grateful. I stay up late and I don't sleep enough but t...

 And after almost a week I'm back! First and foremost I'd like to take the time to thank my secret viewers. I have no idea who reads my posts but I'm always watching the view count and I'm pleasantly surprise at the consistency of people tunning in. It means a lot that there are people out there who quietly enjoy my rambling and allow me to take up a few minutes of their time by reading my nonsense. That being said, this blog is now officially a month old! I gotta think of a fun entry idea to celebrate it's one year anniversary if I make it that far. Now for a little life update. This Friday that just past I did my 4 hour final exam for the most difficult class in my course. I was really nervous but luckily it went well and I will never need to do that again. I should've celebrated with an Oreo McFlurry like I did at the end of last semester, but I was so tired and hungry that I just went straight home after class. Oreo McFlurries are probably my favorite ice cr...

 It's felt like centuries since my last post so you can imagine the shock I had when I realized it's only been four days. Weekends haven't felt like true weekends for me in a while. Even if I do fun things with friends during them it feels more like a social catch up rather than actually hanging out. That doesn't mean that I don't have fun though! I do, and I'm so grateful for the friendships I have developed, it's just that sometimes I feel bad that I don't have enough time to be a strong enough presence in their lives. I can't be all things for everyone. Maybe one day I'll learn that.  Veering off into a less depressing topic, the weather has been sooooo nice lately. Nothing makes me happier than a bright blue sky to welcome spring. That being said, I've been so tempted to walk to work since it's only 30 minutes. But it would mean walking back home after my shift when I'm all tired and it's dark outside. I still tried to make th...