Something Inconspicuous

 I actually have so much I wanna talk about in this entry, hence why you dear reader only had to wait 10 days until my next post. First thing's first, Shawn Mendes released his new album yesterday and I have just finished listening to it in it's entirety. It was alright. I don't doubt that it was very important and special for him especially considering he's been MIA for so long, but it's not exactly my cup of tea. However, I loved the first song in his album "Who I Am", literally had me pacing in my room and sobbing. "I feel pressure from the people that I love and it hurts, but I know I gotta do it I gotta put me first, losing myself tryna make you proud, sorry gotta do it gotta let you down." Literally spoke to my soul, and what makes it even better is that those lyrics belong to verse 2 of the song. If you've read entry no.36  you should KNOW how much I love the second verse of a song.  Anyways, the lyrics in this song got me thinking abo...

 This is giving me flashbacks from a year ago when I would write entries during class. That is what I am currently doing cuz I am restless and bored. I really don't feel much of a desire to write an entry but my ADHD tendencies won't let me just sit and listen to the teacher. Especially when he promised to end class an hour early and now he just keeps rambling about things that have nothing to do with the lecture. It's a Linux class btw (I know nobody asked but I digress). After this lecture I will officially be done week 9 of my third semester, God willing, I'll finish my program at the end of April. April, it seems so far yet so close, time stands still and moves at the speed of light all at the same time. I don't even know what this entry should be about. I can't really talk about soccer right now cuz I honestly haven't had time to sit down and watch a game. Also the class I am currently in falls on Wednesdays from 2-5 pm, smack in the middle of when Arse...

 Time is a funny concept. Especially when we associate it with people. Does time actually heal? Is forgetting healing? Or is it one of those kinda things where what you don't know can't hurt you. Shouldn't healing be accepting and moving forward rather than forgetting? Forgetting feels like a cop-out. It takes a much stronger person to hold memories and walk away than to forget the memories all together. I'm ok by the way, the only reason I bring this up is because I was browsing through the internet and found a video of Adele singing "Someone like you" while crying during a concert. She wrote that song years ago but it's so clear that she still remembers everything. You can see a thousand moments flashing through her eyes in a matter of seconds. Hence why I ask, is it possible to feel healed when you don't forget? What's the difference between healing and moving on? In an attempt to answer that question, I would say that healing is moving on but m...

 Hello! Wow it's been a minute... I don't know why but I feel a little shy right now, I guess it's cuz I'm out of practice when it comes to writing these entries. I just finished reading my previous entry which was a month ago but it somehow feels like a lifetime. I am now one month into college and I am not going to lie it has been extremely difficult for me to get back into that routine. It has especially been difficult for me to actually do my homework when I say I'm going to do it. Most of the time I just end up sitting in front of the TV watching "Friends". I then proceed to lament over how stressed and overwhelmed I am while doing nothing to ameliorate the situation. Today was actually a good day for me though, I was quite productive. So much so that I actually don't have to do any homework tomorrow morning so I can get up at 6:45 rather then 5:30. On school days I leave the house at 7:20 for my 8:00 AM classes. It's crazy to think that I am ...

 My European adventure came to a close a few days ago. I got home Sunday afternoon knowing that I had to get up bright and early for work the next day. Despite the jetlag my shift wasn't bad, 7:45 to 2:00, plus I was at self-checkout so it really wasn't a difficult day. But one thing I should mention about self-checkout is the fact that it is freezing cold by those machines. So cold that I now have a bit of a sore-throat to top off my jet lag. I feel like I came back from vacation and hit the ground running, but I guess that's life for you. There are no grace periods between vacation and normalcy. When I ended that shift on Monday I proceeded to take a 4 hour nap and somehow I woke up even more exhausted! However, thanks to the jet lag it has been easier to get up early. Portugal is 6 hours ahead while Spain is 7 so you can imagine how disorienting that is at first. I can't believe summer is over! In a little less than 3 weeks I am going to have my last first day of sch...

 It’s been a while since I last made a deep and philosophical entry so please entertain me for a few minutes. I can’t really explain how my brain works, it’s kinda like a fun house mirror maze. There’s a lot going on and if it’s your first time in there it seems very confusing and chaotic. However, I know this fun house well. I know the dead ends and shortcuts but sometimes I purposely use these loopholes and secrets to my advantage. I use them to avoid thinking about certain things or to see things that aren’t really there.  Ok that sounds a little creepy. But essentially what I’m trying to say is that I like to play tricks with my own mind. For example, I’ll excuse bad behaviour or let people treat me badly because I believe they are misunderstood. That they actually had good intentions or valid reasons when I know deep down that isn’t always the case. But then again, don’t we all do that? Tell each other happy stories and imagine things differently in an attempt to shield o...

 The European adventure continues. Let me catch you up to speed, it is boiling hot and there is not a cloud in the sky. I don’t mind the heat in this part of Europe because there is no humidity and believe me it makes a BIG difference. The food has been great, regardless of whether or not it is traditional. For example, we went to Spain a few days ago and had Lebanese food. It was probably the most delicious lamb I have ever had. Then there was another day when we ate Argentinian food and once again it was absolutely delicious. Currently we are staying in a beach town in Portugal, the house we rented is literally right in front of the ocean.  Yesterday we went swimming and spent the whole day by the beach. I forgot how much I missed the ocean, the salty water and soft sand, it’s something you can’t compare. This morning we took it easy since I needed to be at the house and have access to a computer around noon because that’s when my college schedule came out. I had to access i...

I’m just gonna start writing this entry now cuz goodness knows when I’ll have time to sit down and write again. It takes me 30 minutes to an hour to write an entry and as you already know if you’ve read one of my past entries, I like to write in one sitting. Currently, I am in Portugal! We arrived yesterday morning and I honestly still can believe I’m here. The plane ride was 8 hours and I tried to sleep through most of it but it was no use.  I got maybe an hour at most but it’s so incredibly difficult to get comfortable on a plane. Also I had a middle seat so I had my dad to my right and a stranger to my left. Sitting next to strangers instantly makes me uneasy. I feel like they are going to judge me and my little habits and hobbies. While on the plane I played Plants vs. Zombies for the billionth time. It is one of the best free mobile games there is, if you disagree argue with the wall.  For the last two hours I also watched Star Wars Episode I. I’ve said this before but I’...

I'm watching the Olympics with my dad in the living room as I write this entry. We're currently watching a women's basketball game, it's Canada vs France and Canada is currently being obliterated. I've never really been into the Olympics but I'll watch a couple of the events here and there. Personally, I have always preferred the winter Olympics, specifically figure skating. I grew up watching Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir dominate in Ice Dancing from 2010 to 2018 at the Olympics. I'll never forget their beautiful dance to Stay by Rihanna, the chemistry between those two skaters is unmatched. I was so convinced that I was going to skate exactly like them when I was little. 10 year old Abby would be thoroughly disappointed in me if she found out that we grew up to become someone who can neither skate nor dance. It's funny when you think about it, I love music but I can't dance and I love the winter but can't play any of the sports associated with it...

 I have been up since 6:30, I am running on a solid 5 hours of sleep and it is currently a quarter to midnight. I most definitely should be sleeping but what can ya do when you love to write as much as I do. The last few posts have very much centered around soccer, specifically England's journey throughout the Euro's. However, now that they are over I find myself preparing for the Primer League season to start up again. Arsenal recently released their new away kit for the season, they are black, red, and green. I definitely like them better than last year's away kit but it's honestly nothing to gush over. However, do you know what is worth gushing over? "POR QUE SERA" by Grupo Frontera and Maluma. Oh. My. Goodness. It is such a good song, perfect summer heartbreak vibes and instantly iconic.  Speaking of music, whoever was playing music over the speakers at work today was killing it. I swear I thought someone had taken my playlist or something. We went from ...