655 Words About an 1000 Word Essay (entry no.5)

 Let me start today's entry with a short description of my current state while writing for the ~aesthetics~. I've wedged myself in the corner of the living room couch with three pillows and my favorite purple blanket. The time is currently 7:41 am and as I'm writing, I'm watching the cars drive by the busy street my house is located next to. The sun has almost fully risen but it's still giving the outside world a warm golden glow. As for me, I'm in my fuzzy Fun Dip candy themed pjs, the natural curls in my hair I work so hard to keep up with are all smushed and I'm sure I have a cow lick at the back of my head. Next to me on the table is a small warm cup of vanilla flavored coffee. To top it off I'm running on 6 hours of sleep which in my opinion is pretty solid. 

I got up early with the goal of working on my 1000 word essay for my languages of the world college elective (it's due tomorrow and I haven't even started). I don't doubt that it will get done but although I love writing I find the course pretty dull which zaps the motivation out of me. Not gonna lie I just googled the word zap cuz I wasn't sure if it was spelt with a "z" or "s". Upon doing so, I found a definition of the term "zap it out", which means "to eliminate something that is unwanted or undesirable using some intense, eradicating energy or force". I love how dramatic that sounds. If only I could zap out my homework or rush-hour traffic. 

Yesterday I was asked by someone about what today's entry would be about. At the time I had no idea, before I went to bed there was something I wanted to write about, then I woke up and started writing about something complete different. My original plan was actually to talk about the new Olivia Rodrigo songs she released a couple of days ago. Honestly, I didn't have high hopes cuz lately she's been going for that crybaby-teenager-everything-sucks vibe and I'm not really here for that. Still, I gave the new songs a shot and I'm so glad that I did because "scared of my guitar" and "stranger" went straight into my favorites music playlist.

Those two songs are slower and more acoustic than her usual style of music, they reminded me of what a beautiful song writer she actually is. "stranger" is probably my favorite of the two, it's a sweet and complex song about moving on from a toxic relationship and feeling like yourself again. I love the chorus, that being said you will definitely catch me humming to myself "you're just a stranger I know everything about" over and over again. But despite my love for "stranger" I instantly knew I was gonna love "scared of my guitar" as soon as I clicked on it. There's one line that goes "yeah it knows me too well, so I got no excuse, I can't lie to it the same way that I lie to you". It just goes to show how honest and vulnerable writing, music, and art makes us. It shows you the truth even when you can't show that same truth to others. 

I've always loved music and writing songs, when I was in grade school I was actually a singer in a band. Despite this, I've never shared my songs with anyone, they just sit quietly in random school notebooks and files on my phone and computer. They whisper hidden truths and capture moments in time. Speaking of time, mine has definitely run out, I'd like to say that I am now gonna go work on my essay but in reality I'm probably gonna go heat up some frozen blueberry waffles in the toaster cuz it is definitely breakfast time.

You're still here? Meet me at entry no.6 :)

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